Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
