But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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