are you still at the devil's house?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
