Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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