Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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