Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
