I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
