its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
