ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
