this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
