I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
