I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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