dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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