Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit

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(714): View more from California

Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.

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(310): View more from California

i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.

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(720): View more from Colorado

There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"

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(409): View more from Texas

so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.

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(503): View more from Oregon

So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you

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(817): View more from Texas

Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on

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