You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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