Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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