The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
