We're facebook friends in real life
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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