We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
A+ Viking dick
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
