everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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