I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
