she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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