please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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