White coat. Heels.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize