I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
