Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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