Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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