know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Damn victory sex feels great
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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