You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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