Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
