Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
