Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he had hair everywhere except his balls
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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