hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
