the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
