she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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