I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She even gives head with a lisp.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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