There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
