My first STD was from a foam party
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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