wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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