where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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