now i know why i became what i already was.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
