Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
