Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
