HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
