Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
