It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
