Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My dad just said "fuck circus"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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