I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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