you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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