no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
time to smoke my breakfast
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
