Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
NoShamevember. You game?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
