with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
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I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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