Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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