btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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