I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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