Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
