By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
