Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
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