He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
All I want is dick and wine.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
