she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
