i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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